i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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