Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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