yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
