Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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