i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
