people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm always down for nudity.
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