How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
