well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
