how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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