she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
