So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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