Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
