i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
