butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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