just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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