the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
