Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
