can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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