Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
