you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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