after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
