I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
