Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
