So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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