I'm sorry my penis didn't work
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
