The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
