Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
