Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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