Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
