Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
