Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he shaved USA in his pubs
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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