i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have aggressive nipples.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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