Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
