i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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