That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
