Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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