Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
