oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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