So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
