Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
