i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
