You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
