i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
