It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
