i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the condom got lost in my hair
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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