I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
