How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do vagina's smell?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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