I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize