my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize