my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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