I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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