I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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