do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
