Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
