Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
