I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
