A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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