I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
