What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
