we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
